 "I'm talking about when articles were real articles!"
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Act 1[]
Aw, this is the life, hey DK? You said it, Diddy. DK, I was just thinkin... The temple of Inka Dinka Doo has been here forever, hasn"t it? Longer than forever. So, who built it? I mean, if it"s been here longer than forever, who ever built it must have been on Kongo Bongo
Whoa! Now that"s somethin' to think about. Let"s ask the one who knows. INKA: For me to know, you not to find out. Ha, figures. It"s a secret. Aw, come on. Lay it on us, ol" Inka Dinka idol. After all, having a secret"s no fun unless you share it with somebody. Donkey Kong share every one. [Diddy laughing] No kiddin"! Tell DK, and it"ll be all over Kongo Bongo before you can say spill the beans. What do ya mean? I can keep a secret. Yeah, right. Like the time I told you about my rash, or when Cranky told you about his rash, or when Candy told you about her... All right, all right. I get the picture. Yeesh. ROOL: Secrecy. That is the key to diabolical success, which is why Project X must be kept ultra top secret. Affirmative, oh mighty leader of lizards. Ultra tip-top secret. Why, Project X is so hush-hush, even I don"t have the foggiest idea what it is, and I"m the head of security! I had each Kritter build one part at home, in his spare time. Now, I shall personally assemble Project X in complete darkness, while keeping my eyes closed at all times, so as not to breach security. Uh-oh. [Klump screaming] And remember, no peeking! Oh, soon I will unleash my most diabolical device yet! The Crystal Coconut is as good as mine. [K. Rool laughing] Who built the ancient and mysterious temple of Inka Dinka Doo? Now, why do you knuckleheads suppose it"s called mysterious, huh? Uhm... >> We don"t... know? Exactly. It"s a mystery. No one knows who built it. The end. CANDY: Uh, what are you boys doin" here? Aren"t you supposed to be out vine swingin" or somethin'? We have to see Cranky about... uhm... B-b-banana cake recipe. Yeah. Bye! Hey, it"s the Donkey and Diddy dudes. Funky! Say, you don"t know who built the temple of Inka Dinka Doo, do ya? [Funky laughing] Of course I Inka Dinka do. Why don"t ya lay it on us, Funky? Hang on to your thumbs, dudes, "cause the answer is out of this world. That far-out temple could only have been built by some very far-out, interplanetary visitor dudes. You mean, like, little green apes in flying saucers? All right, you got it, DK. Give me an anti-gravity five. CRANKY: Ahem! Oops, have to fill you in about our cosmic cousins later, dudes. Gotta see the ancient type dude about a... Banana cake recipe! [Crickets chirping] They"re out there, some where, waitin" for that big, intergalactic wave to bring "em back to the beach. DK: Yeah, right. What for? To bring universal peace and harmony! Or, to turn everybody in to zombie slaves using their interplanetary, mind control vibes. Who can tell? ♪ ♪ Somewhere in the skies ♪ Chillin" out in space ♪ ♪ There"s some alien lookin' dudes ♪ ♪ Scopin" out this place ♪ ♪ With big melon heads ♪ And beady, green eyes ♪ They have slimy, sucking tentacles ♪ ♪ That paralyze ♪ Out of this world comes interplanetary visitor dudes ♪ ♪ [Turn you in to zombies] ♪ They"ll make you their slaves ♪ ♪ Put you on display ♪ And cage you up in a zoo ♪ [Scary ooh-ooh] ♪ They got gruesome, pointy tongues ♪ ♪ They can stick in your ear ♪ They haven"t cleaned their toes or fingernails ♪ ♪ All year ♪ They suck out your brain ♪ With their mind control vibes ♪ ♪ And leave your head as empty as that Frankenstein guy ♪ [Diddy screaming] ♪ Out of this world comes interplanetary visitor dudes ♪ ♪ [Turn you in to zombies] ♪ They"ll make you their slaves ♪ ♪ Put you on display ♪ And cage you up in a zoo ♪ [Scary ooh-ooh] ♪ And the only way to break the spell of the alien dude brain vibes, is to eat a green banana, and hop up and down on one foot. Well, time to turn in. The early dude catches the wave. [Funky laughing] Alien mind vibes. [DK laughing] Zombie apes. [Diddy laughing] I can"t believe you fell for it, Diddy. Me? Your eyes were as big as saucers. [Both laughing] [Both shouting] Great galloping gorillas! Interplanetary visitor dudes! BOTH: They"re back! [Screaming] ♪ Klump, initiate ultra top secret maximum security procedures. Yes, sir. We are now Code Red. You couldn"t pry these bloodshot baby blues open with a... [Klump screaming] No... no problem. Minimal damage. Eyes remain sealed, security"s not been breached, sir. Good. Then make yourself useful, and fetch me a shrimp and mudweed sandwich. Roger, sir. I shall ron-dez-voo at 0-1200 hours with a little midnight snack. Excellent. Project X is back from its very first test flight right on schedule. Whoa. I"m back. Oh course you"re back. The Boomeranger Barrel always comes back. That"s the beauty of my clever design. [Krusha moaning] ROOL: As soon as the test phase of Project X is completed, your assignment will be to swoop stealthily in, snatch the Crystal Coconut, and return before those dull-witted apes know what happened. [K. Rool cackling] All clear, Diddy. Those interplanetary visitor dudes only come out at night. [Diddy gulping] We hope. Come on. We gotta warn the others. Warn the others? DIXIE: About what? We"re under attack! It"s an invasion! They"re here! Little green apes from outer space! We saw them last night. DK: They tried to turn us in to zombies with their alien mind vibes. That"s nice. We"d love to hear more but we"re kind of in a hurry. Don"t you want us to protect you? No! I mean, it"s nice of you to offer, but... uh... we"re on our way to... Get our hair done. Yeah, you know, girl stuff. Oh, look! Dolphins! Where? I don"t see any... Hey, where"d they go? Cranky! Cranky, we gotta do some thing! Interplanetary visitor dudes! They"ve come back. It"s an invasion. BOTH: They"re gonna zombify us! I"ll smackify the both of ya, if you don"t knock off this science fictional nonsense! We saw them last night! Zooming across the sky in a spaceship! Hmm. Saw a shootin" star's more likely. We better stick close, Cranky, for your protection. No! Last thing I need is you two tagging along to the... Uh, to my, uh... hair appointment! Killer whale! Where? Oh, great. Alien"s are taking over Kongo Bongo, and all anybody"s doing about it is getting their hair done! Come on, little buddy. Funky will believe us, for sure! Hey, dudettes. "Bout time you got here. Sorry, Funky. Seems every time we turn around, we bump in to DK and Diddy. But don"t worry. We gave them the slip. So did I. I think I slipped a disc doin" it. FUNKY: Goin" up! DIDDY: Ya see that, DK? Oh, this is weird. Yeah. I didn"t know Funky was opening a hair salon. CRANKY: Remember, secrecy is the key to success, if we"re going to pull this off. FUNKY: You said it, Cranky dude. We want this to be like a total surprise. CRANKY: Let"s get on with our plan. A plan? Leapin" lemurs! You know what I think? BOTH: Interplanetary visitor dudes have taken over their brains and turned them all in to zombie apes who are, at this very minute, plotting to take over Kongo Bongo! Find out what they"re up to, DK. I"ll get us a supply of green bananas. All right, little buddy. [Thudding] [DK groaning] It"s DK! He"s been spying on us. Bummer. He probably heard every thing. You"d better not tell Diddy, DK. Ha! Do your zombie worst. No interplanetary visitor dude mind vibes can control my brain. No kidding. They"d never be able to find it. Wise up, you numbskull. There"s no such thing as interplanetary visitor dudes. Ha, I bet that"s what all the mind control zombie apes say. Chill, DK dude. I got that zombie stuff from a movie I saw on the late, late, late, late show. You see? There is no such thing as interplanetary visitor dudes! Not ones that turn people in to zombies, any way. The ones I"ve met have always been real mellow, in an alternate life form kind of way. But, me and Diddy overheard you planning to take over Kongo Bongo... didn"t we? We"ve been trying to plan a surprise party for Diddy"s birthday. A surprise party for my little buddy! All right! But, why wasn"t I invited to help with the plans? Because it"s supposed to be a surprise! I can so keep a secret! ALL: Yeah, right. Well, this time I double DK promise I won"t spill the beans. [Diddy gulping] This well keep away those pesky interplanetary mind vibes. Hey, Diddy! [Diddy screaming] DK, you shouldn"t sneak up on a guy when he"s trying to stop an alien invasion! Here, have a green banana. Aw, forget all that stuff, little buddy. There aren"t any interplanetary dudes, or zombie apes planning to take over Kongo Bongo. Oh, yeah? So, what was everybody doing at Funky"s place? Oh, they were planning a... Oh... uh... They were, uh... Well, they were just trying to, I mean, uh... oh... nothing you need to worry about. [Diddy gasping] You"re one of them! Those interplanetary brain nappers have turned you in to a space zombie to do their evil bidding! No, Diddy! Wait! DK, if you"re still in there, don"t worry! I"ll think of a way to save ya some how. [DK sighing] Oh, it"s worse than I thought. My best pal is an alien zombie, and now he"s out to get me, "cause he knows I know he knows I know he"s a zombie. Ahh! There"s another one! I don"t recall it bein' such a long march to the mess hall. Back off, you scaly-tailed zombie swamp rat! Huh! Who goes there? A fur ball! What are ya doin" in King K. Rool"s kitchen? What"s this jungle doin' in King K. Rool"s kitchen? Wait a minute. Klump can"t be a zombie controlled by interplanetary visitor dude brain vibes. He doesn"t have a brain. Where"s he keep the slime spread? Klump, I"m desperate! You gotta help me. Me, help a fur ball? Listen up, you empty skulled reptile. We gotta act fast, before it"s too late! Kongo Bongo, maybe the whole world, is being invaded by interplanetary visitor dudes... And turning every one in to zombies! [Klump laughing] Little green lizards from Mars! Stop, stop it. You"re killin' me! I saw it with my own, highly trained eyes, spinnin" through the sky. They"re gonna turn the whole island in to some sort of resort, where they"ll be waited on hand and foot by their army of mind controlled zombies, who will be us! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. What will we do? ♪ The aliens are planning their deadly invasion ♪ ♪ They"re armed with ray guns and mind melting powers ♪ ♪ Who knows what evil we can expect ♪ ♪ Prepare yourself for a horrific encounter ♪ ♪ In every monkey"s life ♪ ♪ Comes a time when you should stand up and fight ♪ ♪ [Watch the skies] ♪ If you want some self respect ♪ ♪ Then get ready and watch the skies ♪ ♪ [Watch the skies] ♪ There"s only one chance to stop these invaders ♪ ♪ You could turn them back with the Coconut"s power ♪ ♪ Get the Crystal and you go down in history ♪ ♪ This could be Diddy"s finest hour ♪ ♪ You could be the hero ♪ There"s a brilliant light that shines from your eyes ♪ ♪ [Watch the skies] ♪ Aren"t you sick of being a zero ♪ ♪ Just look up and watch the skies ♪ ♪ [Watch the skies] ♪ It"s up to you to watch the skies ♪ No green slime from another planet"s gonna turn my pals in to zombies! I"ll get you that Crystal Coconut, K. Rool, and then we"ll kick some interplanetary butt! If they have butts, that is. They might have two... or three. Klump, this little fur ball... Uh, brave volunteer, is going to need your help. Me? Uh, but, uhm... I still have to go make that sandwich, and... uh... Yes, sir. Happy to volunteer, sir. Diddy Kong, your name will go down in Kongo Bongo history. Yeah! It will, won"t it. [K. Rool chuckling] Krusha! Your mission to steal the Crystal Coconut has been scrapped. I"ve just arranged to have it hand delivered to me, personally, by a gullible simian simpleton! Oh, good. Your new assignment is to fly the Boomeranger Barrel over Kongo Bongo, spreading more fear and panic in your wake. [K. Rool cackling] [Krusha shouting] Good goin", DK. Now what are we supposed to do? The whole gang is inside waiting. We"ve got the decorations up and every thing! Don"t worry, Candy. I"ll get him. Just remember... >> Yeah, yeah. I know. Don"t spoil the surprise. [Crickets chirping] KONGS: Surprise! CANDY: It"s just me. DIXIE: Aw. FUNKY: Bummer. We"re gonna teach those interplanetary brain stealers a little lesson in Kongo Bongian manners. Diddy! [Diddy screaming] Oh, finally I found you. What are you doing with the Crystal Coconut, little buddy? I"m gonna get my buddy's brain back, that"s what! I"m not a zombie! Ha! Just what I"d expect a zombie to say. Step on it! [Wheels screeching] Huh? [K. Rool chuckling] That"s it, my hairy hero! Bring the Coconut home to Papa K. Rool. What"s this? Oh, that interfering ape will ruin every thing! Krusha! Knock Donkey Kong off that trail. Yes, sir. Faster! He"s gaining on us! Affirmative. Pedals to the metal. [Shouting] DIDDY: You know, next time, maybe I should drive. Affirmative. Well, at least I got the Crystal Coconut back. [DK shouting] Whoa! There really are interplanetary visitor dudes! I got it, I got it! [Shouting] [Krusha groaning] [Krusha moaning] Uh, welcome to Kongo Bongo, interplanetary visitor du... Huh? I should have known. All right, zombie. Drop that coconut! Diddy, I didn"t want to tell you this, but... You are no match for us, puny Earth ape! Oh, that does it. Come back here, you mindless, lily-livered alien zombie. Good thing my Mama taught me to always where my helmet. [Krusha groaning] [Klump gasping] Whoa, ow. Say, you slimy interplanetary invader types look awful familiar. I don"t feel so good. [Krusha retching] KLUMP: Oh! Not on my clean uniform! Idiots! The Crystal Coconut was in my grasp! I"ll send them both to the Moon for this. Nah-nah. Can"t catch me. Oh, I"m gonna tear those aliens limb from limb, or tentacle from tentacle... KONGS: Surprise! [Diddy screaming] DK: Diddy! Diddy! Hmm, he must have had one too many green bananas. DIXIE: Gee, maybe you should have warned poor Diddy about this surprise thing, DK. INKA: Happy Inka Dinka Birthday. ♪ |