 "Okay, I'll do the article for you! ... Naw! ... Only kidding!"
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Act 1[]
DONKEY KONG: 99, 100! 100 strokes before bedtime makes for a beautiful head of fluffy fur! Looking good, DK! Now, for a warm glass of coconut milk, and beddy-byes, here I... [Doorbell ringing] Hmm? Kind of late for someone to be ringing the doorbell. [Clanging] Huh? A letter? I bet I won that Mr. Gorgeous
"The double curse of Bluebeard Baboon lies in these words, you see. Read them once, then read them twice, and your island is history." Ooh, I got a bad feeling about this! Hey, Dix, whatcha doing? Waiting for Funky. He"s taking me for my first flying lesson! [Engine sputtering] Wow, Funky can practically do that stuff in his sleep! [Engine sputtering] Funky? Wake up! Oh, no! Funky! Dixie to Funky! Wake up!!! Surface down! Check out the awesome recovery! You"ll be the one in recovery if you try that again, Funky. [Tires skidding] Hi, Funky! Ready? I was born ready! Question is, are you ready? [Giggling] You bet! Let me start the engine! Now, remember, dudette, gliding the aerial tide is a cerebral journey into an altered state. A totally inner voyage! [Engine starting] This better be good, Klump! I was a toe away from hopping into the de-scaling tub for a soak. Tub be right! [Squawking] Polly want a cracker! Grrr! KLUMP: Simply put, King K. Rool, sir, I have devised a foolproof plan to get the Crystal Coconut away from those flea-festering apes! It"s sinister! It"s diabolical! Well, let"s hear it! It"s, uh, in code. You can"t decipher your own code? Uh, I"ll figure it out! Just need a little time. A, uh, it could stand for "ambush," which might be the first stage of my operation. Ooh, ooh! What is it, Krusha? Duh, A also stands for "alligator." Hmm, well, you may be onto something there, Krusha. Oh! I don"t know if I be making it through this. And B stands for, uh, "battalion." Oh, and... and "blatoon"! No, that"s P, and it's "pontoon"! Caw, so, what thinks you about Polly Roger sailing off, oh, to get you the coconut his self? Get me the coconut, Polly Roger, and you can ask for anything as a reward! Now, C, well, that could mean "Crazy Ivan." Just hurry! [Bird chirping] [Rustling, glass rattling] I know it"s here! It has to be. [Door opening] What has to be, Cranky? You crazy baboon! Can"t you see I'm in the middle of a cataclysmic disaster here? Well, you could use a maid service. Not my housekeeping! This! Hey, I got one just like that last night. [Diddy laughing] Me too! Hey, I bet it"s an invitation to... No! My Great-Aunt Grouchy"s Curses and Nifty Legends. Legend says every 100 years, the ghost of the pirate Bluebeard Baboon rises from the ocean depths to deliver the Curse of the Double Doubloon! You didn"t read the letters, did you? No way, uh-uh! I didn"t have time. Right, DK? Yeah. [Laughing nervously] Donkey Kong! Tell me you didn"t read it! Okay, I didn"t. [Sighing] But I did. And that explains it! [Banging staff on floor] It"s losing power! Darn-tooting it is! "Cause you read the letter. Worst of it is, it"s a double curse! If it"s read once more... The Crystal Coconut goes out? Yeah, and we all sink with Kongo Bongo Island to the bottom of the ocean, just like Bluebeard Baboon"s ship did 1000 years ago! If we got letters, there"s a good chance every ape on the island got letters, too! Candy! [Gasping] Dixie! And Funky and Bluster! ♪ Disaster strikes our island if this dreaded curse comes true ♪ ♪ There will be no Kongo Bongo and no bananas too ♪ ♪ Who knows how many got this note and understood its power ♪ ♪ To anyone who reads it twice, this could be our darkest hour ♪ ♪ It"s the Dreading Double Blah-blah Cursed Double Dabble Dooby-doo ♪ No, you"re saying it wrong! It"s Bluebeard Baboon's Curse of the Double Doubloon! ♪ The secret of the double curse lies in the words, you see ♪ ♪ If you read them once, then read them twice ♪ ♪ Then we"ll all be history ♪ ♪ There"s danger in the jungle and it"s causing a commotion ♪ ♪ The island that we know and love will sink into the ocean ♪ ♪ It"s the dreadle... double... Fear boo cursing double wahoo of Blue Suede Shoe ♪ No, you"re saying it wrong! It"s Bluebeard Baboon's Curse of the Double Doubloon! ♪ There"s trouble in the jungle and we better solve it soon ♪ ♪ With Bluebeard"s curse, things go bad to worse ♪ ♪ It looks like we"re all doomed ♪ Let"s go, little buddy! I"m with you, DK! While you try and get the letters, I"ll see if Great-Aunt Grouchy has any suggestions. So, any further along with your clever plan, Klump? Heh, yeah, making headway, uh, King K. Rool, sir. So far, we"ve managed to decode "assault," "like lightning," "night raid," "no prisoners," and "running shoe." Running shoe? Uh, now, it might be "rooster," but that would change everything we"ve got so far. It"s at times like this that I find I must ask myself again and again, "Do I really want the Crystal Coconut this badly?" Ugh! [Phone ringing] CRANKY: Hello? Great-Aunt Grouchy! It"s me, Cranky! [Great-Aunt Grouchy, muffled] Your favourite nephew, that"s who. Listen, Great-Aunt Grouchy, I need to know about Baboon"s Double Doubloon curse. [Muffled response] No, curse! [Muffled response] No, C-U... [Muffle response] "See you"? No, don"t hang up! Hey, maybe I can use Funky"s radio like Dixie did to warn them about the letters! Worth a try, little buddy. Doing great, Dix! DIDDY: Dixie, can you hear me? Hey, Dids, whatcha doing? Over! Tell "em don't read the letters! [Signal cutting out] Read... letters! I think he wants us to... to read our mail? Good idea, Diddy-dude! Can"t get slack with the fans. One for me, and one for you! I"ll read yours first, Dixie. Ahh! He"s reading the letters! They can"t read the letters! No! Don"t... read letters! I"m reading, I'm reading! "The Double Curse of Bluebeard Baboon." DIXIE: Hey, Funky, watch this! FUNKY: Whoa! [Dixie giggling] Diddy, Diddy! I got it, I got it! I got it! I got it, I got it! DONKEY: I got it! DIDDY: I got it! DONKEY: I got it! DIDDY: I got it! [Crashing] [Weakly] Banana slamma... Two down, three to go. CRANKY: Yes, yes, I"ll call you on your birthday, but right now, I need... [Great-Aunt Grouchy, muffled] The curse? Yes. There"s a spell to cancel the curse. [Muffled response] In your book? [Muffled response] Why didn"t you tell me that in the first place? [Muffle response] Okay, thanks, I will. Goodbye! [Muffled response] I said goodbye! You got to love Great-Aunt Grouchy. Now, to put an end to this curse... hey, beat it! You pesky parrot! [Crashing, glass breaking] Squawk, all right, then! You be keeping your coconut, but I be keeping my feathers! And this lovely parting gift! Stop that! Give that back, you two-bit toucan. Aw, the only thing that be worse than not getting what you"re after, be going back to his lizardship empty-handed. Of course, I still have the Crystal Coconut. I can hologram to Donkey Kong, and he can get the book back from Polly! I sure hope there"s enough power left to take me where I need to... Uh-oh, wrong place. I was afraid this would happen. Cranky! [Cranky screaming] DONKEY, DIDDY: Candy! [Panting] Stop! Whatever you do, you can"t read that letter. Why so worried over a little letter, Donkey Kong? Think I have a secret admirer? No, it"s the dread Double Bubloon Curse, the Bloom of Bugga-Blue! Let"s see what it says. We"re on the level, Candy! Oh, no, you don"t. And you don"t either, Diddy. "The Double Curse of Bluebeard Baboon..." Don"t read it, Candy! "Lies in these words, you see. Read them once, then..." FUNKY: Hey, watch your lids, dudes! Ahh! I"m gonna line my porch with your fur if you do that again, Funky! Hey! Where"s my letter? Great-Aunt Grouchy"s Curses And... Nifty Legends? You were supposed to bring me the Crystal Coconut! [Squawking] This be even better. I skimmed through it on the way back, and there be a ship-load of interesting stuff in there! Like what?! Feast your peepers on this. Squawk! "Got a lizard that" s gabby and flabby? Noose that sucker, and no more blabby!" It could also be code for... Incredible. Caw, the spell? The silence! Caw! So, about my reward? Hmm, let"s see what else Great-Aunt Grouchy has up her simian sleeve. Ooh, ooh! This one sounds good. "Sunrise to sunset, a bunny hop, a pirouette." [K. Rool laughing] I find this most amusing. [Squawking] Avast, swamp-breath! You be listening to Polly? I said you could ask for anything, but I"ll give you this. "Gimme, gimme, never gets. Don "t you know your yodels yet?" [Squawking] ♪ Yodel-ay hee-hoo [Laughing] I can"t believe this! I"m actually having fun! [Polly yodeling] Now, don"t just stand there, Klump. "Hiccup here, hiccup there. Jumping Jacks in the air!" [K. Rool laughing] Bah! That bird! Aunt Grouchy"s book! K. Rool! If I can do this to them, imagine what I can do to those abominable apes! Got to find Donkey Kong fast! I wonder what this could be. Looks official! Perhaps it"s informing me that I won some sort of big prize! DONKEY KONG: Bluster! Stop, wait, no! What"s gotten into those babbling baboons now? The letter! Give it to us! [Gasping] They want my prize! Good news travels fast, but I travel faster. Oh, no! Now what, DK? If Bluster reads that letter... Kongo Bongo is doomed. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga! Woo-woo! [Laughing] [Klump, Krusha giggling] ♪ ♪ With this book of spells I will unleash an ancient power ♪ ♪ I can cause disaster ♪ Bring down mountains or make flowers ♪ ♪ All the gators in the land will rejoice and sing ♪ ♪ When I make the apes of Kongo Bongo puppets on a string ♪ ♪ They"ll be spellbound ♪ ♪ And in my power ♪ I"ll shrink them down to size ♪ ♪ And then I"ll swat them all like flies ♪ ♪ Donkey Kong will file my claws ♪ ♪ I"ll make him oil my feet ♪ ♪ I"ll turn bananas into cheese ♪ ♪ There"ll be nothing left to eat ♪ ♪ I"ll freeze Cranky's hologram and then I"ll stuff him in a jar ♪ ♪ I"ll use him as a nightlight on the wall in my boudoir ♪ ♪ Ruler of the universe ♪ I feel so sublime ♪ I"ll hold out my stick ♪ ♪ And let them limbo 1000 times ♪ ♪ They"ll be spellbound ♪ ♪ And in my power ♪ I"ll shrink them down to size ♪ ♪ And then I"ll swat them all like flies ♪ ♪ They"ll be spellbound ♪ ♪ They"ll run for cover ♪ ♪ I"ll turn them into big-eared mice ♪ ♪ It won"t be very nice ♪ [Klump and Krusha babbling] Oh, no sign of him, DK! Not one moustache hair! [Sniffing] Wait a second, little buddy. Am I mistaken, or does that smell like... [Sniffing] Cheap cologne? Now that I"ve lost those two losers, time to see what my prize is! "The Double Curse of Bluebeard Baboon lies in these words, you see." Hey, Bluster! So, uh, tell me, how do you get your hair so flat? Stay right where you are! Make one move, and I"ll... run. Where"s Donkey Kong? Donkey Kong? Oh, uh, just uh... hanging around. Well, I"m not sharing my prize with you, or anyone. It"s all mine! Whatever it is. Now, where was I? "Read them once, and read them..." Huh? Like my little buddy said, just hanging around! Trust me, Bluster, all of us just won. But it"s my prize! You did it, DK! [Laughing] We did it, Diddy. Thanks for stalling him. No more curse, and no more letters. Oh, we got "em all! Except one. BOTH: Huh? Mine. ♪ Gobble, gobble, cluck, cluck! This one always brings good luck. [Clucking like chicken] [All clucking] [Clucking continues] Ha, ha! What"s this? This book is full of surprises! That belongs to me! Not anymore! Besides, you"re nothing but a hologram! What can you even hope to do to me? Your mother"s an imitation alligator handbag! [Gasping] When disco ruled, then I was king. But unlike your title, it really meant something. You... Buffoon, I"ll pulverize you! Squawk! The Curse of the Bluebeard Baboon, squawk! We be doomed! What? Caw, if the curse be read twice, Kongo Bongo sinks into the ocean! And it"s already been read once. [Polly squawking] Fine, then, I won"t read it, as long as you hand over the Crystal Coconut. You...! Read it again, and you sink with the rest of us! That"s the cost of doing business. Well, you"re bad at that. The Crystal Coconut doesn"t work anymore. DONKEY KONG: He"s telling the truth! About time you two showed up. I can"t distract him all day! Well, if it isn"t Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong! How did you manage to get in here? Like wolves in a hen-house. Oh, uh, I see. "The Double Curse of Bluebeard Baboon lies in these words, you see." What are you doing? Give me the coconut, or else! "Read them once, then read them twice, and your island is history." Where"s the rest of it? That"s all there is, you... ♪ [Rumbling] Oh, oh, ah! Oh, save me! We"re all doomed! Squawk, batten down the hatches! Squawk! On the way over here, you said you had a plan. I do, and it"s working just as I hoped. No offense, big guy, but your plan"s a bit of a bore. You"re forgetting, Cranky said there"s a curse-cancel spell in the back of the book. BOTH: You got to love Great-Aunt Grouchy! Banana slamma! Ugh! [Polly squawking] He who laughs last... Laughs best! [Laughing] Ha! Why you little... DK, over! [Thudding] ♪ No! DIDDY: D... K...! DONKEY KONG: "The Curse of the Double Doubloon can easily be reversed. Read these words and you will see your island is no longer cursed." [Polly squawking] Yeah-ha! Donkey Kong saved the day! We"re out of here, little buddy. [Klump and Krusha clucking] But what about them? [Clucking continues] [K. Rool sobbing] |