 "I wouldn't be seen dead in an article like this one!"
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Act 1[]
♪ Yo, ho, ho [Squawking] ♪ And a rattle of bum [Laughing and flatulence] You"re forgetting yourself, Polly. I"m trying to forget you, bomb breath. Hey! That"s gross insubordination! Not as gross as you, lizard lardo. Lardo? Let me at him!
I"ll... No! Why not? Because Polly is the key to our taking over Kongo Bongo. [Squawking] About time you wised up, matey. That"s of course, if I can trust you, hmm? Who me? Hey, skipper, it"s me... [Squawking] Loyal Polly Roger, at your service. He"s going to trust that double crossing dodo bird? [Squawking] So, what"s it going to be, tool? Fool... See this? It"s The Crystal Coconut and I must have it! And I order you to get it! [Squawking] That"s it? I knew I could count on you. Count on him? Well, you certainly haven"t ' brought me the coconut, you tired old tadpole! Polly, you lead the air attack. Seize the coconut. Klump, you provide ground cover. [Squawking] I"m out of here, hoist the anchor, so long. Oh, the humiliation, the dishonour. I"m nothing but a bird watcher! Kritters, march. Hip, hup, Hip, hup, hip, hup... [Chuckling evilly] Hip, hup, Hip, hup, hip, hup... [Humming] Hmm... let"s see. One beaker contains herbal tea and the other is a metal eating acid compound that could dissolve my innards in a ba-nanosecond. Ooh, monkey, ho. Oh, mighty Crystal Coconut, maybe you could tell me which beaker has the battery acid. [Squawking] Get a load of the rock on the starboard side. [Whistling] Thanks, oh mighty C.C.! Hi, matey. Polly got a coconut. Drop it, you buzzard, you pilfering parrot! He, ho, up, up and away! Come back, you two-bit toucan! Step, kick, step, kick, boot, circle, toot, push. Listen to the rhythm, DK. ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ Da, da, d-da, da... Ah! Oh, it"s useless, little buddy. I got two left boots. If you"re going to take Candy dancing on your anniversary, you got to dance. You"re right. Here goes. Step, kick, step, kick, tush shove and a boot push. Oh, yeah... yah! [Crashing] DK, DK! You all right, buckaroo? Just fine, little buddy. You had it there. Well, almost. I"m going to have to come up with something else for the anniversary of our first date. What"s all the racket?! I could hear you, clear through the jungle to my place. Cranky, what"s up? Polly Roger stole the coconut. It"s your job to get it back. Stole the coconut? Why would Polly want it? You can bet K. Rool is behind it. K. Rool... Time to bust a move. Any sign of that buzzard? Uh-uh [Squawking] ♪ It"s only me, from over the sea ♪ What? ♪ Said Polly Roger, the pirate There, there he is! DK: He"s got the coconut! Apes ahoy! I got him, no sweat. [Squawking] Think you can lose me that easily? Tree! Ooh! [Crashing] DK, DK, are you okay? Get up, come on. Let"s go, go, go. Polly"s getting away with the coconut. We got to stop him. Come on! The coconut? [Panting] Oh, the ancient temple of Inka Dinka Doo. Let"s find him quick and get out of here. [Squawking] Wait! Do you hear that? Uh-huh. There he is! [Squawking] Baboons on the bow, baboons on the bow, on the bow. Grab that bird brain! He"s this way, to the right. Turn to the left. Eat my tail feathers. [Squawking] We got him cornered. DIDDY: Oh no! Where did he go? You take that one. I"ll take this one. Right! [Squawking] DIDDY: Over here! [Squawking] I got him! [Fighting noises] Get the coconut! [Fighting noises and crashing] [Laughing] What a dodo bird! [Laughing] Cranky"s going to be happy. Yup. Oh, steady as she goes. We got to tell Cranky this place isn"t so bad. Cranky"s just a gloomy Gus. There"s nothing in here. D-d-d-d-did you... Did you see that? The place is booby trapped. Run! Turbo charge it! Move it! I"m moving, I'm moving! Ooh! [Both yelling] [Panting] Oh, it"s a dead end. We"re trapped! We"re doomed! [Both yelling] Where are we? Look, a banana. Just what I need! I"m starving! Excuse me, you"re tossing The Crystal Coconut for a banana? I"m hungry. Aw, phooey. It"s not even a real banana. It"s only gold. Go... gold? Wait a sec. This"ll make a perfect present for Candy. [Growling] MALE VOICE: Inka Dinka don"t! [Growling] It"s the Sleeping Idol of Inka Dinka Doo. Not anymore. He looks kind of mad. Inka Dinka don"t! Real mad. [Both yelling] Well, you ninny, where is it? [Squawking] I had it and I lost it. You lost it? Yeah, so sue me. If I had a little more ground support against the army of apes, I might have kept it. Klump, you had orders to provide ground support! What"s your excuse? Um, tactical error. I lost them. The tactical error was giving you the job. [Squawking] You landlubber. Well, you lost the coconut, bird brain. Did not, swamp snout. Did too, chicken lips. Not. Too. Not. Too. [Growling] Shut up! You are both incompetent imbeciles. You"re both fired. Out! All right, I"m leaving. [Squawking] Don"t get your skivvies in a square knot. DIDDY: Well, it"s back, safe and sound. Now, I feel better, you doofus! What did I do? You woke the Sleeping Idol of Inka Dinka Doo. DK: We were in and we were out, bada bing, bada boom. No big deal. Maybe, maybe not. You didn"t touch anything? DK: Nope, uh-uh, nothing. Then what"s that? [Chuckling] This? It"s just a little something I picked up for Candy. [Rumbling] Uh-oh, it"s starting! What is? The Encyclopaedia Bananica. [Muttering] What"s it say? ♪ See here, look what you"ve done now ♪ ♪ You have brought the wrath of Inka Dinka Doo on down ♪ ♪ How can such a pretty thing as this ♪ ♪ Make things really go amiss? ♪ All I want is Candy"s kiss ♪ ♪ You"re a fool ♪ ♪ Can"t you see that there"s a curse? ♪ ♪ Put the banana back ♪ Or things are gonna get much worse ♪ ♪ What"s with all the worry? ♪ ♪ Can"t you see I'm in a hurry ♪ ♪ It"s a perfect gift for our anniversary ♪ The curse will bring the destruction of our entire island and there"ll be no bananas left for you to eat! No bananas? ♪ It"s the curse of The Golden Banana ♪ ♪ The curse of The Golden Banana ♪ Don"t you get it, you big baboon? It"s bad luck, catastrophic karma. You"ve got to return the banana now! I do? You do. You"ve unleashed a curse on all of us. The entire fate of Kongo Bongo rests in your hands. Bummer. This would have scored a whole lot of points for me with Candy. [Chuckling] This will score a whole lot of points for me with King K. Rool. This whole thing seems kind of stupid now. A banana cursed? But, Cranky said... Hey, when it comes to bananas, I"m the expert. CANDY: Hey, DK. Candy! Oh boy, here we go. That little golden banana bobble wouldn"t happen to be for me, would it? Huh? Oh yeah, our anniversary. It"s beautiful. It"s cursed, DK. Oh DK, it"s the prettiest, nicest present I"ve ever gotten. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You"re welcome, welcome, welcome. I got to go. I"m late for work. See you soon, you little love monkey. She called me a love monkey. Yeah, will you snap out of it, smart guy? You just gave away the sacred Golden Banana of Inka Dinka Doo. [Laughing] [Gasping] What have I done? Yeesh... Well, finally back from lunch and two minutes late! I"m sorry, Bluster. I was busy receiving. Receiving what? This present from Donkey Kong. A banana? What a cheapskate. Cheapskate? Look again. It"s a genuine 24 Carat banana. [Rumbling] Earthquake. Run for it! [Yelling] [Rumbling] [Panting] Thanks for stepping on my head on the way out. I... I was getting to the copter, so I could airlift you out. Right. Least you could do is give me a lift home. Of course. Hop in. Get you home all safe and sound. Cut the chatter, Bluster and fly this thing! [Helicopter whirring] That was a close one, huh? Yeah. Well, at least I hung on to my gold banana. [Rotor sputtering] What was that? Whoa! Hang on! Mayday, mayday. We"re going down! [Both yelling] [Disco music playing] Shake, rattle and roll. [Crashing] The barrel copter, Mommy will be livid. Tell her to take a number. I was livid first. What about me? What about you? I"m livid. You can be livid later. Now, get this thing out of my house. I"ll do what I can. Hey, what"s that? What? That golden banana, where did you get it? DK gave it to me for our anniversary. Donkey Kong gave you that? This is all his fault! He"s brought bad luck on all of us. I know, I"m fired. But, I ran my own recon mission. I thought you"d like to know, Donkey Kong has in his possession The Golden Banana of Inka Dinka Doo. You saw it with your own eyes? Yes, your mightiness. [Gasping] Think of the possibilities, Klump. Do you realize the things I could do with The Crystal Coconut in one hand and The Golden Banana in the other? Um, juggle? No, you nut head! I could take over all of Kongo Bongo. I could be the master of evil. So, get me that banana, General Klump. Yes, sir! This is not smooth. I blew it! I brought bad luck on everybody. What do I do? Cranky will know how to fix it. BOTH: Whoa. Cursed, ha! I"ll show them cursed. Hey, Candy, it"s me, your little love monkey. What happened here? Donkey Kong, you wouldn"t believe it. There was an earthquake that destroyed the factory and then Bluster was taking me home and his copter went kaput and crashed into Cranky"s. Candy, I got to level with you. It"s The Golden Banana. What? Don"t you start telling me it's cursed too. It is. It belongs to the big dude in The Temple of Inka Dinka Doo. Nice try. You gave it to me and I"m keeping it. Unless, you want to break the whole thing off. Uh, no, but... Fine, so the banana"s mine. Wait, wait! It"s only going to bring bad luck. To anyone who tries to take it away from me! Hey, you two lugs, help me out here. Ancient curses, bad luck, I"ve never heard such lame excuses in my life. Oh! Well, well, well, The Golden Banana of Inka Dinka Doo. This will be my greatest campaign yet. [Chuckling] So, how do I get Candy to give up The Gold Banana? I don"t want to make her even madder. Chill out. We"ll figure it out. Hmm... we need a plan. You"re right. Let"s eat. How can you think about eating? We still got to figure out how to get the banana back. It"s all this banana talk. Banana, banana, banana! I can"t think when I'm hungry. [Munching] Huh? [Squawking] Thanks, matey. It was getting chilly in here. What are you doing in my fridge? What"s it look like? Having a snack. Go back to K. Rool, you pillaging pirate. I gave the old guy, the heave ho. [Squawking] I"m offering my services to you two. Yeah, like we can really trust you. Oh, it"s true. I tell you, I"ve given up me evil ways. [Squawking] Give me another chance fellas, please? Well, I don"t know. What do you say, little buddy. Do we trust him or not? [Squawking] All right, I"ll tell you what, mates... [Squawking] To seal the deal, I"ll give you some inside, super secret, double hush hush info. DIDDY: Super secret, double hush hush? That"s right. K. Rool is holding your main squeeze prisoner. [Squawking] Candy? Prisoner? What for? "Cause she's got the banana. It"s the curse and it's my fault. Now, Miss Kong, I"m a reasonable reptile. What will you take for that banana? Save your lizard breath. I"m not interested in selling. I"m beginning to lose my patience, Miss Kong. And you don"t want to see me lose my patience. Ooh, I"m really scared. Ooh, you should be. You"ll be punished! You"re grounded! Off to the dungeon with her. [Gasping] You... you wouldn"t! You... you couldn"t! Yes I could and I will. [Laughing] Take her away, Klump! Yes, your majesty! No, you can"t! Help! DK: Hang on, Candy! Banana slamma! Donkey Kong! ALL: Donkey Kong! Let go of her, you pond gack. Klump! Uh, yes sir. Kritters, attack! Uh, Kritters? Come on, Candy. I"ll take you home. All right. You"re still my little love monkey. ♪ ♪ When I see a smile on your hairy face ♪ ♪ I know there"s no other ape that could take your place ♪ ♪ I can"t believe you feel the way that you do ♪ ♪ You"re love is like a dream come true ♪ ♪ You are the sunlight warming up my day ♪ ♪ Take my hand and everything"s okay ♪ ♪ I see bananas when I look in your eyes ♪ ♪ I"d shower you with coconut cream pies ♪ ♪ A love like ours don"t grow on trees ♪ ♪ Our love is like a summer breeze ♪ ♪ Can"t you see we"re meant to be ♪ ♪ Our love is stronger than a golden banana ♪ ♪ Our love is stronger than a golden banana ♪ [Sobbing] ♪ Stronger than a golden banana ♪ It"s the most beautiful thing I ever saw. It warms the cockles of my cold, cold, coldblooded heart. [Crying] Bye-bye! Bye-bye you lovebirds! Oh, Klump? Yes, your majesty? Cut it out, you lunkhead! See, Stoneface, it"s yours. We"re sorry. We should have never taken it in the first place. So, can you lay off on the cursed thing? [Growling] Inka Dinka will do. He"s happy. We"re happy. Everybody"s happy. No more bad luck. We hope. [Squawking] Hey, mates! [Squawking] Look what I found. Hey, I thought you were on our side. I changed my mind. Some loyalty. You want loyalty? Get a cocker spaniel. [Squawking] [Rumbling] Here we go again. [Rumbling] Oh boy, he"s steamed. Inka Dinka don"t! DINKY: Run for it! [Both yelling] So, K. Rool has the banana. We tried to give it back. This is not good. Let"s see what The Encyclopaedia Bananaicasays. Hmm... What"s it say? Are we doomed? No. [Chuckling] But, K. Rool is. You think just taking the banana was bad? Get a load of this. "Anyone who takes the banana and plans on doing bad, evil or mean things with it, better beware." [Crashing] POLLY: Abandon ship, abandon ship. KLUMP: Get me out of here! [All yelling] Get out of my way! [Rool laughing] ROOL: Only a minor setback. I still have the banana! Inka Dinka doomed... [Laughing ominously] ♪ |