 "The trouble with you kids, is that you're all too soft!"
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Act 1[]
The screen shown the White Mountains, then it quickly cuts to Cranky's Cabin, where Cranky is fast asleep and there are cannonball noises happening Cranky: Aaaah! No way, not again, that's it, this has got to stop! Alright Eddie ya mean old yeti, time for an attitude adjustment. (looking for instruction manuals) Should be something in Mr. Bongo's guide to curses, potions and spells. Ahah! This shall do the trick. First make the stock, two quarts of swamp gunk, strange, 3 tea spoons of toad mold, one doll-ups for foot fungus, make that five doll-ups. And one cherry and.. now for the secret ingredient. (reading instruction manual) Caution, do not add the secret ingredient, until ready to use. Give it a work on me then it's sure to work on mean old Eddie Funky: (groans) Oh, the sand burns. I need a walk in the throne zone dude Diddy: (groans) I bet Donkey Kong: Sapped! Funky: Hoot! Diddy: Whipped! Funky: Thrashed! Donkey Kong: Grown tired Funky: What's up with the dude Donkey Kong? Up all night, laying a big-time bruising on everything with his prehistoric club? He"s Eddie the Mean Old Yeti. That"s what mean old Yetis do. Hey, I"m hip to letting the cave dude express himself but, like, he"s keeping everyone up. That"s the way it is with mean old Yetis, Funky. The older they get, the meaner they get. And the meaner they get, the noisier they get. And the noisier Eddie gets, the crankier everyone else gets. [Laughing] ALL: Cranky? [Continues laughing] What are you looking at? Get back to my place, pronto! [Laughing] What"s up, Cranky? Just get here! [Laughing] [Banging] Oh, I"m bagged, sacked, pooped, whipped, bone tired. [Snoring] Klump, wake up! If I don"t sleep, no one sleeps. Uh, what, huh? Yes, sir, King K. Rool, sir! I can"t very well come up with my diabolical plans to take over Kongo Bongo if I haven"t caught more than 40 winks, now can I?! No, sir, King K. Rool, sir! Well, you were supposed to find out where that impossible clatter is coming from. Right. Well, uh, the disturbance seems to be generated from the vicinity of the White Mountains. My scouts have yet to determine the exact location. Then go find the source of that banging yourself, you useless newt! Yes, sir, King K. Rool, sir! [Snoring] ROOL: Klump! Now zip your lip and listen. I"ve got something that will snap Eddie the Mean Old Yeti out of his mean old mood. Eddie"s not the only one who could use some of that. I heard that. So, uh, what"s the plan, huh, Cranky? Tickle Tonic. Guaranteed to have even a Mean Old Yeti giggling like a hyena. Well, then, just leave it to Dr. Donkey Kong to cure Eddie"s mean old club banging blues. Not so fast, not so fast. I need to take it to Eddie myself. There"s a secret ingredient that needs to be added just before I give it to him. Otherwise it won"t work. Funky"s picking me up in a couple of minutes. You"re flying with Funky? What choice do I have? I got to get to the White Mountains and back before you two mess up. Keep an eye on the Coconut. And don"t touch anything! Don"t worry, Cranky. We won"t touch a thing. I"m too tired to be keeping an eye on the Coconut. Hey, no problem. Cranky once gave me a mega vitamin drink, maybe we can find his recipe. Oh, I don"t know, little buddy. Don"t worry, DK, everything"s under control. Hey, see if there"s a recipe in that book. But we promised Cranky... No problem. Go on, look for a recipe. Okay, little buddy. Hmm. Uh, here. "Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat. Then say coconut and it should float." No, no, DK, that"s not it. That"s not the right formula. ♪ Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat ♪ ♪ Then say coconut and it should float ♪ ♪ Ha, ha-ha-ha! ♪ Go, Diddy, go! ♪ A dash of zing adds a bit of ping ♪ ♪ A cup of zang gives it some tang ♪ ♪ A little bit of that and a whole lotta this ♪ ♪ A pinch of zoat and you can"t miss ♪ ♪ Whoo-ho-ho! ♪ Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat ♪ ♪ Then say coconut and it should float ♪ ♪ When the recipe tastes okay ♪ Then you"re mixing your cares away ♪ I"m getting it, Diddy. ♪ A quart of this might give it some zip ♪ ♪ Give it a stir "til it sticks to your fur ♪ ♪ A gallon of that might give it some taste ♪ ♪ Pass it quick there"s no time to waste ♪ ♪ Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat ♪ ♪ Then say coconut and it should float ♪ ♪ When the recipe tastes okay ♪ Then you"re mixing your cares away ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, go, Diddy, go! Mixing away! ♪ This is so much fun ♪ I can"t wait until it's done ♪ ♪ It"s gonna taste great, just you wait ♪ ♪ Is it ready to try? ♪ I"m so excited I could die! ♪ ♪ A little more zing is just the thing ♪ ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo! ♪ Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat ♪ ♪ Then say coconut and it should float ♪ ♪ Say one banana and zing, zang, zoat ♪ ♪ Then say coconut and it should float ♪ [Glasses clinking] Bottoms up, big buddy. [Gasping] BOTH: The Crystal Coconut! It floated out the window! But how? "Then say Coconut..." "And it should float." It was a magic spell, not a recipe! And it worked. Come back! Stop! We messed up, little buddy. Big time! Oh, what do we do now, DK, huh? Follow that Coconut! Hang on, frail dude! We"re jammin' to Yeti land! What am I doing in this contraption? I got an airhead airline pilot and a couple of knuckleheads guarding the Crystal Coconut. Chill, Cranky. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride, ha-ha! What am I worried about? If those two stir up any trouble... ahhh... I won"t live long enough to see it! Whoaaaa! DK: All of Kongo Bongo"s in danger. Because of us! What if we lose the Coconut and K. Rool gets his grubby claws on it? We"re doomed. Right. So we gotta figure out how to... No more spells, Diddy. I got us into this jam and I"m gonna get us out of it. My way. [Cranky screaming] This is too much for me! What? I can"t hear. I said put this crate down! Upside down? Excellent! Nooooo! The Tickle Tonic! Supersonic? Coming up! [Cranky screaming] CRANKY: Got it! That was too close. If you do that again. Again? Woooo! [Cranky screaming] [Banging, echoing] ROOL: Sleep... Sleep... Just a couple of moments, a wink, perhaps two. [Banging continues] Where is that numbskull?! [Snoring] Klump! Uh, good morning, your majesty. I mean, King K. Rool, sir! Whatever it is, it"s still banging, Klump. Yes, sir! A source located, sir. It"s Eddie the Mean Old Yeti, sir. Krusha, confirm. [Snoring] Krusha? Krusha! Uh... I was in dreamy land. I want him silenced, now! Yes, sir! For sleeping on the job, sir? Not Krusha, you dolt! Eddie the... huh? Any other unusual sightings to report, General Klump? No suspicious activity whatsoever, sir. Ah, wouldn"t you consider a floating Crystal Coconut a tad unusual? I would, indeed, sir. It headed toward the Barrel Factory. You know what to do! Yes, sir! Put a stop to the banging, sir! [Stammering] No, you lunk-head! Uh, silence Krusha? I"ll take care of the Yeti, you get me that Coconut, now! Yes, sir, over and... Out. Any sign of it, Diddy? Not since we lost sight of it way back there. Look! We got to get it back. Bluster"s barrel copter. Woo-hoo-hoo! I got it! Banana slamma, little buddy. Now hang on. [Snickering] Looks like those boys could use a hand landing that thing. Kritters! [Weapons powering up] What"s for lunch? I"m starving. Sounds like helicopter blades, yum! Oh, goody! Ready and fire! Klaptraps! [Falling, both screaming] [Crashing] Don"t let it out of your sight, Krusha! It"s mine! I mean, ours. I mean, King K. Rool"s! [Laughing and coughing] [Plane motor whirring] [Motor backfiring] I think I just spotted Eddie. I am ready, dude. Not ready, Yeti! Not ready yet? Just say when. Isn"t there something you can do so we can communicate? [Turning motor off] All right, so, let"s communicate. What did you do? Turned the engine off. Then what"s holding us up? Like... nothing. [Cranky screaming] [Moaning] If that was Klump"s Klaptraps that shot us down, you can bet your last banana that he"s got the Coconut and he"s carting it off to King K. Fool as we speak. I really, really, really blew it this time, little buddy. I don"t deserve to be future ruler. Whoa, DK. I can"t believe you actually said that. Hey, the Coconut named you future ruler. No one said it was ever going to be easy to be ruler. And no one ever said you weren"t going to make some mistakes. I guess it"s how you deal with those mistakes. Right. And, besides, nothing and no one is bigger or better than the king of all Kongs, Donkey Kong! I"m back! [Laughing] All right! Now, let"s get that Coconut from those slippery salamanders. And the next time I go somewhere with you, remind me to stay home. Y-y-yeah, well, the next time I go somewhere with you, I"m not coming either. Let"s find this snow dude and get out of here. [Mysterious screaming] I think he just found us. [Both screaming] Me, Eddie the Mean Old Yeti. Chill out, ice dude, and cut the decibels. You"re stressing everybody out. Not cool. Me cranky. No, I"m Cranky. Welcome to the club, cranky dudes. I"m cranky too. Me crankiest! BOTH: And he"s got the club! [Shouting] Huh? [Shouting] DIDDY: I hate this place. Gives me the creeps. DK: That"s because it's full of K. Rool"s creeps, Diddy. But we got to go in. It"s the only hope we have to get the Crystal Coconut back from Klump. You"re right, DK. But how? Okay, here"s the plan. First we sneak in. Yeah, yeah, good, sneak in, then what? Slow down, will ya. I haven"t gotten that far yet. Oh, great. If we get out of here with that Coconut, DK, we"ll be the two luckiest apes alive. And if we don"t, we'll be the two unluckiest apes. Don"t say it, DK, don't say it. It"s okay, we like lost him. He"s really getting on my nerves. Ditto, dude. He"s a serious threat to my inner peace. He"s bringing me down. How can we tickle him if we can"t get close enough to get the tonic on his tonsils? And it"s starting to freeze! Then let"s tickle sickle him. You may want to stick a thermometer in your ear. I think the same thing is happening to your head. A snowball, dude! In goes the tonic and we"ll slam-dunk the tickle down his throat. Unbelievable! A good idea, from you! Start making, Funky, and I"ll finish mixing. I"m gonna rendezvous with King K. Rool in the White Mountains to report that our mission was a success. Guard it with your life, Krusha. And no sleeping. I will do a good job. Warp speed! Oh, great! Now we won"t even get close to the Coconut without him seeing us. I"ve got a plan. I"ve heard that before. [Snoring] [All snoring] DIDDY: Okay, DK, I"m dying to hear the second part of your plan. This is where you go up and get the Coconut. [Snoring continues] Without waking sleeping-ugly. Oh. The ice man cometh, dude! All the Tickle Tonic"s loaded in that snowball. One shot"s all you got, Funky. Now! CRANKY: K. Rool? Eddie. Klump? Your majesty, sir. Reporting in person. The Crystal Coconut is now in our possession. The Coconut? Oh, goody! Then Kongo Bongo is mine! Those knuckleheads! Can"t leave them alone for two seconds. Now everything"s down the sewer! Things couldn"t get any worse! [Yeti shouting] [All screaming] Uh-oh. [Giggling] [Laughing] [Both laughing] [Laughing] [Laughing] [All laughing] Like anyone order an avalanche? [Laughing continues] Run!!! [Laughing continues] Huh? [Snoring] [Diddy straining] [Rumbling] Hurry up, little buddy. Time to wake up. Mommy? Hey. [High-pitched voice] It"s okay, go back to sleep. Hey, you"re not mommy. After them! Is that earth tremor part of your plan? No. But this is. Banana slamma! I"m a bad boy. ROOL: Start digging, Klump! [Laughing] The sooner you get all this snow off me... [Laughing] The sooner I"ll collect my coconuts with you! [Laughing] Ruler of Kongo... Bongo. [Hysterical laughter] The blood sink the boat, now the coconut will not longer float. Done. ALL: Phew! I"m sorry, Cranky. Diddy and I... I"m too tired for apologies, Donkey Kong. The important thing is you got the Coconut back. Next time we won"t goof-up. Promise. Everybody out. We left Eddie with a smile on his face. Who knows how long it"s going to last. I"m getting some shut-eye while I can. That goes for all of us. DK: Sweet dreams. DIDDY: "Night-night. [Sighs of relief] [Eddie laughing] CRANKY: Oh, no!!! EDDIE: Funny! [Eddie continues laughing] |