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        Cranky Complaining "The trouble with you kids, is that you're all too soft!"
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Act 1[]

At a pirate ship

Skurvy: (chanting) ♪Arrr! When I was a young lad my father said to me "Arrr lend an ear and learn some pirate history. One a fearsome pirate ruled the seven seas, he was your great-great-great-great grandpappy, Prince Skury. He told me tall tales of the Zilbegotten gains but the greatest treasure of the all still haunts me through this day.♪

His two crewmates join the scene

Kutlass and Green Kroc: ♪And if you swap the deck♪...

Pirates:...♪and I'll tow you into the bridge, I swear I'll make you walk the plank to write the the wrong you did. The day you mess with Skurvy and you will you shall wish you're never born. When the Coconut is mine then you feel the pirate's scorn.♪

Skurvy: ♪He hid it in an idol where it stayed for many years, but the Idle of Inka Dinka Doo change the crystal tear, it lay upon the ground until much to my surprise, a stupid ape just wondered and snatched my treasured pride. He discovered it possessed extraodinary power, but stealing it from Skurvy would be his darkest hour.

Pirates: ♪And if you swap the deck and I'll tow you in the bridge. I swear I'll make you walk the plank to write the wrong you did. The day you mess with Skurvy and you shall wish you were never born. When the coconut is mine, then you'll feel the pirate's scorn. When the coconut is mine then you'll feel the pirate's scorn.♪

Skurvy: ♪Arrr♪ Oh-Ho!

At Cranky's Cabin

Cranky: Huh, the quiet life, nothing ever happens around here. No one calls me, no one comes to visit...

A large cannon bolt gets fired at Cranky's Cabin

Cranky: One scroll

Skurvy: In the name of me great great great great grandpappy, Kaptain Skurvy main maggots ravages rotten remains hand over me bright right, hand over the Crystal Coconut

Cranky: Skurvy?

Skurvy: "Kaptain Skurvy" you dimwitted simian. (chuckles) I'm back

Cranky: B...but you were stranded on a desert island, you were washed at sea, y-y-you were chomped by sharks

Skurvy: Aye! But life isn't all fun and games, (chuckles) we've come back to get what is rightfully mine

Cranky: We?

Kutlass and Green Kroc join the scene from behind

Kutlass: Hand over the Coconut, or I we'll chop you to bits

Polly Roger: [enter] Yeah, chop him to bits, chop him to bits, four bits, six bits (caws)

Cranky: (nervously) Easy, easy, w-w-w-what coconut?

Skurvy: The Crystal Coconut

Cranky: Never heard of it

Skurvy: The coconut me great-great-great-great grandpappy "Captain Skurvy" stashed on this island

Cranky: Sounds like you've lost your coconut, I'm telling you, never heard of it, never seen it, I don't have it

Polly Roger: (caws; standing on the Crystal Coconut case) Can somebody say coconut (caws)

Cranky: That- That's not a coconut

Skurvy: Open it now!

Cranky: But I- I don't have the coconut squidbreath, now get out of my house, right this second or I'll... I'll... I'll...

Skurvy: Yes?

Cranky: (realizes he slammed his stick on the ground) Ooops

The Crystal Coconut opens due to Cranky slamming his stick on the ground

Skurvy: There she goes

Cranky:What do you know, how'd that get here?